What’s the Rush ?

A discussion on marriage, suitors and the constant pressure

There comes a point in one’s life where you start dreaming of a beautiful wedding which will hopefully result to a happy marriage and all that it entails. However, there also reaches a time where you want peace from all

the reminders of your unmarried state, coupled with your growing age. The biggest decision when it comes to marriage is the spouse, so how can you rush someone into it if the right one hasn’t been found? Ok I get it, almost everyone gets married and I understand the worry my family has in having their children In a nice marriage, even with this understanding is it not my right to deny my pictures being sent to “potential” suitors? Or being tricked into false visits when it’s really just a ploy to allow a suitor to “evaluate” you. 

Is this a show we are putting on? Not too tall? Not too rich ? Not pretty enough? It’s either this or the other. I’ve honestly become so afraid of this matter that I’m blown away when a girl readily says yes! MashaAllah sister you have passed one huge stress of life which is choosing your spouse. I wonder is it really only me who is afraid of choices and options? Scared that the decisions I make today will one day turn to regret ? It can’t be that dreadful right ? Probably it’s just the pressure from family and friends that’s contributing to this feeling, because Allah knows and has written the greatest stories of our lives.

Being 21 and Arab some of you most likely can’t relate to my current predicament, though I trust you can empathize for I’m positive this is a situation many Muslim girls have to deal with at a certain time in their lives. I’m aware that my people are trying to match make everyone with their best intentions in mind, however I wonder if they are aware of the weight and dread we feel having a guy (and his family ) bombarding you with questions, questions which perhaps us ourselves have no answers to.

Having a guy think it’s within his place to expect certain information from you and addressing you in “affectionate” terms thinking it’s going to work on you, there’s a fine line between flattery and disrespect, and some people don’t see the stop sign. Boy, no you CAN’T have my picture, I WON’T pick up your call, I will NOT give my assent to messages that are meant to be some sort of proposal coming from your part, and please stop calling me wife, I don’t need you telling me that. 

With so many emotions overwhelming me while I wrote this, I finish with nothing but peace, which I found after finally letting it all out. I wish you all a wonderful life, truly 

Author: missnasra

social but a bit weird

One thought on “What’s the Rush ?”

  1. Mashaallah sister. Personally, race aside, I feel one should not enter a marriage with any pressure cause there will come a time when she or he will come to their senses and it could bring about issues that were buried down to the forefront.

    Liked by 1 person

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