Disastrous Adventures

Stove Fire Series





At this point of my life – I am not a kitchen person. 

I try to avoid that territory altogether, hence, not a lot of disasters have happened recently. I have been demotivated by the number of horrible creations that

I have got on myself. My mum has officially banned me from her kitchen – I only do the basic chopping – not the main cooking.

I remember once –which is stupidity overloaded – I made Mandazi dough and baked it, thinking it was bread. I had also made the rose sherbet extremely thick and milky, and we were having guests coming for dinner. Baked food always ended up burnt, due to the amount of interest I’d put on the novel I would be reading instead of focusing on the task at hand. There was a consecutive series of unnecessary mishaps, that made me give up on cooking altogether (for now).

I do try to make small creations of already cooked meals. Like how I would make my speciality Buttered pre-cooked rice. But that’s all there is to it. I will try to slowly get to the point where I can make meals from scratch. But until then, I’ll remain to be Mihi – The vegetable chopper


How does one mess up something as simple as rice? Easy, take little water and a hell lot of rice, dump it in a rice cooker and voila! Sticky rice with portions of al dente, that is to say, chew carefully and slowly as your teeth are in for a surprise. Who says rice cookers simplify life? Primitive minds like mine still can’t correctly use them. It’s always a game of chance- too much water, too little water, not enough salt, did I remember to set it to cook?

 I always say a little du’a before making my Pilau. Same applies to something as basic as fried eggs. It starts out as an omelette which somehow morphs to scrambled, it’s out of my control! It’s only recently that I’m mastering the art of a fine omelette and I thank the Lord for that. Speaking of mastering techniques, here I was thinking I knew how to make chapati, apparently I was wrong. I had my measured flour, added the salt, little bit of oil, poured that water in, started my kneading, it was a beautiful dough. Followed that up with the perfect flattened circles after which I left them for a few minutes to deal with other preparations. I get back to my chapatti ready to cook them; they still looked perfect but had a funny odour to them. Ignoring that, I heated up my pan spread a little oil on top and placed the first one in. That was when I noticed something strange. My chapattis were rising! The dough was getting thicker with air bubbles forming, that odd odour I was getting was coming to seem more like that smell of fermentation. That day I ended up with some sort of flat bread creation, which had to be eaten warm or else they got as hard as a rock. Still, though I’m never deterred away from the kitchen, I love it in there (on my own terms). It’s always worth the while if it gets someone to appreciate your cooking. (Thanks, Baba)


For this topic I need more than Mama’z teachings, I need passion and a good cooker! I can’t just blame myself for all the disasters that happened in the kitchen. I blame it on the instructions and my lack of connecting cooking skills. If I remember right my last kitchen nightmare was on 19th August. Yes seven days ago! I couldn’t even make sugar syrup my dear friends! ☄️such shameful behaviour! Apparently, I boiled them for too long to the point all the water evaporated and some hot wax remained. So far I have learnt many recipes. Some came out bomb while others were literal disasters. For example burning boiled eggs! How does that happen? Well, gossip has its ways to show you its horns!

I believe everyone has their touch in the kitchen, I mean some prefer baking, others prefer making desserts or main courses which is where I fit in. So I will not accept that am not good at cooking because at least I fit in one category; making main courses, more specifically Arab and African cuisine ! Yummy!


Being the eager woman in the kitchen, and never having used an electric cooker, I decided to take a pot and wanted to heat it up. 5 minutes ahead, the kitchen was full of smoke and the pot had heated up so fast. I was so scared of rousing suspicion from my family. Since then to today, will I never use an electric cooker dear readers. I would rather stick to gas and coal for my future.

This other time much before, I had to make dinner. Opting to roast greens, I ended up cooking for a whole hour something that should have taken half the time. Having always been a visual learner when mom would cook and never having cooked them without supervision till then, I added water and salt, stirred the greens with the spatula around the pot over and over again. they never became soft. they felt hard broke off with such an effort. What I made that day was surely a lesson.

And so we decided to post these excerpts on how our experiments in the kitchen can go so bad. We are much better off now of course. I encourage you dear readers to share your thoughts on your lovely experiments.Were they as bad or had much happier endings?

2 thoughts on “Disastrous Adventures

  1. Lol this was hilarious! It would take me an entire book to write all my disasters. 😅😅😂 but oh well. Atleast there’s more people like me!


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