Connections, bonds, relationships, human beings can’t seem to live without them, we crave them and try to attain them but just how hard do we work to maintain them? From that first kid whom you played tag with during nursery to those friends, you spent long nights studying with while in university, how many of these relationships mean something to us, that we’d mourn their loss if they were ever to leave us.

For me the friendships that started to really matter were those during the years where I felt I had truly garnered an identity of my own, I wasn’t pretending or trying to be like everyone else and the friends I made from that time onwards were the best that I’ve ever had. These were people who accepted me for what I am because they too were what I was, maybe even crazier. I can’t explain the relief it was and still is to be able to be your 100% self.

As it is with life; you move along, the people you used to see every single day are reduced to group chats that you share to keep up, perhaps making a plan or two once a month. I think to myself what effort do I make to maintain these relationships, to reach out individually to each person and just say “hey!”. I find it hard, daunting even to do so.

I have never been the type of person to reach out and make the first move, I’d prefer to wallow with myself pondering whether they think of me or not when all I have to do is pick up the phone. It is not necessarily the deep meaningful relationships that matter, even the minor small ones, there are still people who were a part of my life once that I wish to follow up on, I can’t ever cross someone out of my life indefinitely. Social media really helps to an extent because even if we don’t talk, I still want to wish you well on your upcoming wedding or comment a sultry emoji on your posts. I want to say, yes we may not talk anymore, but you mattered once and because of that you’re relevant to me.

When I suggested this topic I didn’t expect so many emotions to come out from it but this a meaningful discussion that nags at me constantly.  Do I want to lose contact with people? No. Do I want to think of what could have been? Definitely No. I want to live a life where the people who matter to me know that they matter, that you somehow whether you knew it or not were/are an essential piece of the mosaic that is my life. A masterpiece that I wouldn’t ever want to see crumble.  

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