I’m a bit late to the show but better late than never. Its been a week since 2018 moved past us and so far 2019 has been hopeful and is showing promising signs of personal growth and adventure which I’m look forward to that. I don’t believe in new years resolutions as they are often hard to stick to and you end up trying to fulfill them not because you want to but as more of an obligation. Reflections though are a positive, a way to look back at what was and what came to be. 2018 was a long year full of change for me, this is my year in review.
I reached a milestone in my life where the safety bubble I was in finally burst and I was exposed to the somewhat harsh reality of life. I found myself having to struggle more than I ever had and questioning my place and projection in life. Where am I headed, how do I get there, what is wrong with me, were some of the questions I’ve been asking myself. I wasn’t prepared for life and I’m still not but I’ve come to the realization that there is no crash course available and that i’ll just have to somehow survive…but with effort. Everything has always been easy and simplified, the pathway laid out for me but not anymore. To get what you want and where you want you need to work for it, life isn’t a fairy-tale with a promise of a happily ever after.
I aged a year and they say wisdom Is in the number, that as you grow older you get wiser. With that in mind I’ve always assumed older people knew what they were doing, they were more mature and certain in their actions, in that they should be whom you turn to in times of need. 2018 reshaped my thinking as I found myself in situations where I was the voice of wisdom, speaking logic which other older people seem to have missed out on. I would never have thought that I would be sought out for advice or urged to “talk some sense “ to an older person but I was and I did and I am proud of myself. Maturity and awareness dont’t come with age, you can be younger and still have a better idea on how the world works, own it and don’t be afraid to give advice when you think you can help.
If you can give advice you should also be willing to receive some and I listened to people who had my best interest in mind and wanted to see me challenge myself by having a go at things that interested me but hadn’t had the guts to try out. This year I experimented and tried out new things, I gave up on excuses and acted. I was terrified of failure and nervous for the outcome but all in all I felt challenged and stimulated in a whole new way. I didn’t necessarily excel in all that I did but the fruits of my effort was evident, like minded people reached out and I like wise wasn’t afraid of doing the same. I’ve grown confident in what I can do but not conceited not to realize that I have a lot to learn. I tested my limits and found ways to overcome them.
This last note is on something I’ve been battling for a while now and It’s only in 2018 that I’ve somewhat come to terms with it and became honest with myself . The heart and the mind; two decision makers, which sometimes act together or an in total opposites. I mostly refer to my brain for decisions and my heart is usually just a bystander…usually. What happens when I do my thinking with my little blood pumping muscle is that I read too much into things and end up deluding my mind into seeing things that aren’t there, completely fooling myself. I was at first in denial of what I do and kept on living in this fictional state but the issue about reading into matters is that your theory is always changing and you’re never fully satisfied with your conclusion. I’ve finally owned up to it and am taking steps to leading a less construed life. It can get confusing and will only complicate things and lead you to live in a sort of virtual reality of your own creation. Don’t assume things and let them waste your time and keep you up at night
With that 2018 was a memorable year which went by with useful lessons that I have taken with me to 2019. I can’t wait to dive deeper into 2019 and see what it has in store for me and all of us here at Muslimahs Ablaze. The MA team has shared with you, our dear readers our journeys of the last year on a deep and personal level because in this space we feel safe. We would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for every like, comment or view that we’ve received over the past year and promise to deliver better content to you all over the next year.