This year on April 27th, I turned 24. It’s scary, because I feel closer to 30.

I remember I heard it from a celebrity once who said; your 20’s are like shopping for your personality. You keep trying different things, figuring out what works until you can find the right fit. Truer words have never been said.

Here I am, and I feel like I still need to try on a lot of other things before I finally figure it out. I am far from it. But I have gathered advices from people, lessons, things from the books I have read in my short (?) years of life, and I have tried to put them together, and incorporate them into my life. The ones I share here, worked so beautifully. I definitely still struggle from time to time to stick to what I know, but I read the list and I try again. So far, they have definitely made my life, just a little better.

Stop expecting

Ok, maybe you can expect a little more from your parents. They brought you to this world after all, they have a certain obligation towards you. Other than them, stop expecting. The world doesn’t owe you. People don’t owe you. You meet them, you leave them. They leave you. It’s the circle of life. Just like life and death. Nothing is meant to last forever. Let’s leave that to Disney. If you’re trying too hard, that means you’re expecting too much. This results to nothing but disappointment. If things are meant to be, you work on them and the puzzles fit. Things that are meant to be do not exhaust your soul.

Put on lipstick, wear high heels …

… Then look at yourself in the mirror. Like and appreciate what you see, then go ahead and make chicken wings. Get a bikini wax, buy the lacy lingerie. You only have yourself to look at for the rest of your life, whoever comes along can just keep up.

Your choices are totally upon you

If you want to be an exceptional daughter, don’t expect your parents to be exceptional parents. If you want to be the good friend who calls every day, don’t expect your friend to reciprocate. If you want to be a respectful human being, don’t expect people to respect you back. If you want to trust people easily, don’t expect the same treatment from others. Everyone makes choices for themselves, only fools make choices for other people. Weigh your options, choose your course of action, then understand that whatever happens, it was 100% your choice, so don’t expect reciprocation for your choices. We can’t expect people to treat us the way we treat them all the time. It’s exhausting.

Eat healthy if you want to be healthy

You convince yourself that some people are just ‘naturally’ thin, so you barf on a full cake filled with chocolate goodness that you made for yourself on your birthday, because then what’s the point right. Is that what they told you? That they eat everything but don’t get fat? Sweetie, they’re just laughing inside at your naivety. Don’t be a fool, k? Ok.

Love doesn’t exist (?)

You’re looking for companionship, and not love. Someone to care for you, and someone you can care for. A mutual lifetime agreement from both parties. I don’t know what love is, can someone please explain it to me? I only know that it doesn’t exist, unless someone convinces me otherwise. Nuff said? Ok.

Stop over complicating things  

Seriously, just stop. Due to the media these days, everyone is trying to live the ‘best’ life they can live. A ‘full’ life.  Did you plan to be born? Did you plan how you turned out? Did you plan your gender? Your periods just come out on their own every month. Does anyone like to poop? No, but your poop just decides to come out on its own, you get pregnant, you have desires you don’t want to have. So what exactly makes you think that you have full control of your life and how things turn out for you? Just be the best version of you, and survive as much as you can. Stop complicating things. Life purpose? None of that shiz please. Just run until you’re exhausted, then stop running. Sit and wait to die. All things that are considered great, happened by chance. If you try too hard to make it worth your while, you actually miss out on the essence of life itself. Being alive. Being part of nature. You’re after all, only human, just like every other human. Nothing special there.

You are what you see

Sounds corny doesn’t it? It’s the truth.

Allow yourself to feel all emotions 

If you’re feeling sad, feel it. You are not meant to be happy all the time. If you’re feeling angry, feel it. Don’t let it out on other people, but allow yourself to feel it. If you’re feeling exhausted, take a break. All these emotions, are nature taking its course. Everyone has the same emotions. No one lacks one or the other. If you don’t want to show it to people, then go to sleep until you’re better. But don’t suppress them. Don’t exhaust yourself until you can’t function. Don’t ask too much of your body, than what it can do.

Stop being too understanding

Don’t just accept what people tell you you’re supposed to be, based on your skin color, body weight, or where you come from. Things that other human beings have created as the norm. What is normal for them doesn’t have to be normal or you. Don’t let other people put limitations on you. Choose your battles and then fight them.

Stand up for yourself

If that means being rude to people who were rude to you, letting go of people you don’t want in your life, voicing out your opinions, or just by being silent. Then do that, but always stand up for yourself, because people tend to take things for granted. Why make your life miserable at their expense. Don’t be crazy stupid and just stand up for yourself.

Live a quiet life

Your soul will thank you. 

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